The day before yesterday it happened again. I received an e-mail that just oozed with “a lot of work – but no pay”. It didn’t explicit mention it, but the mail wanted me to do a speaking gig, which they said, just was a speech “around 20-30 minutes” and that the theme was WOMENOMICS and WHY WOMEN MEAN BUSINESS.

In addition, I receive daily inquiries from women who are seeking new job opportunities, board positions or directorships.
Almost every mail, starts by quoting Madeleine Albright’s famous comment; “There’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t help each other”. In other cases the mails appeals to “sister loyalty”, understating that “someone like me” obviously have to help and support all women at all time and, of course, without getting paid! Their expectations are clear – in their minds this has to be expected of a feminist (like me).

I get dizzy and confused.

Of course I want to be good a “feminist- sister” and if I could – help and preferably also save the world for free.
But I – like many others- also take care of my company, my family and my network.

So, how do I do this while ensuring that I do not end up as Madeleine Albrights quote ends? … Burn in hell?

A couple of years ago, I made a promise to myself that I didn’t wanted to work for free for anybody – men or women. Not even if it just was for “20-30 minutes.”

Here’s my working process when it comes to speaking on gigs or doing consulting work:

1 – I need to make sure that I deliver real value, and that my ambitions motivates me to work really hard to exceed above target to the clients and audience who pays for my services.

2 - I need to use a couple of hours to practice, because I want to perform 110% when doing speeches and workshops.

3 - Further, I need to make the whole look nice and communicate well – oh, and use a lot of time and some tranquility moments on getting grounded and get in the right mood for delivering value when on stage.

4 - If my co-sisters want me to sell various courses or goddess schools, it is impossible for me to spam my network daily with e-mails describing the fantastic USP’s of the various courses, whatever the good intentions are… A consequence for me personally could be losing my business foundation, my good name and the valuable network I have nurtured and built up during the last 5-10 years. As consequence, I would rather burn in hell, than loose my good reputation and exploit my network in the negative sense…

5 - I have always recommended and continue to gladly recommend talented women who I know personally, or who I know has some qualities that would benefit or contribute to a creation of value in the sense of money or other softer factors such as knowledge, competence etc.
But how can I recommend women who I do not know or have a connection to?

Therefore, you’re not just asking me for 20-30 minutes for free, a recommendation, a board position, an e-mail list of 10.000 names – you’re asking me for days… and years of work.

Anyway, when I receive a request that reads “free work” I always write a nice e-mail back saying: “Sure I would love to help you guys out – this is my price!”

I always write what my price is and I always smile when they say I’m too expensive. And then I answer: “I have no ambition to be the cheapest – I am determined to be the best.” And I’m seriously indifferent if they call someone who is second best.
I don’t work for peanuts. If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys!

If my selling price for a speech or my counselling is really low (a mistake women often make) I might end up contributing to the devaluation of the ” female speakers industry”. In a broader context, I do my fellow sisters a favour (as all females in this industry ought to do) by putting a fair, realistic price on my services which reflects my market value, which again is what clients are willing to pay for my services.

Strangely, this is the point where the phone calls starts coming from the “clients” (if I may call them that), saying that they’re putting this together voluntarily and they can’t exactly pay me more than a couple of bottles of wine (Do you know how many bottles of wine I need before I feel like I’m paid for my work?)

One time, this lady on the phone said that I should look at this “gig” as charity because it would support WOMEN. The word “charity” for women was the buzzword that really, really upset me, because if there’s something I do, day in and day out, it is to support WOMEN which is something I have done for the last 20 years. However, in this case I do not do charity work!!!

Fuck that, I really got offended. I know she probably just had a look on my speaker profile, and that she probably had no idea that she was talking to an WOMEN supporteur extraordinaire=)

Anyway, I just told her no and that I do not work for free (well sometimes I actually do, but then it’s because I can see a reason to do it, like when the guys from Ted.com are calling me or the UN, UNHCR etc – I probably won’t say that they need to pay me (because that would be plain stupid).

I only do free work if I see that the value for me in doing it is larger than the money the organizers would be paying me.

But when I think of it, the reason I don’t want to do it, is that it becomes damaging to my brand if I do. People get the wrong perception of me on stage, or my advices, because if I am not paid, then I know myself enough to know, that I wouldn’t prioritize it – because it’s a free gig. And if I don’t prioritize it, I don’t feel good about it, and if I don’t feel good about it – I suck on stage.
I mean – do you know how much a person can screw up on stage in 20-30 minutes?
Add that the audience is normally merciless if you start screwing up.

One thing I think conference organizers could do, is to get permission from all the participants that the speakers are allowed to e-mail them afterwards. Thereby enlarging the speakers’ database and at the same time telling the audience that the speaker is doing the speech for free. Another way out would be listing the “free speakers” as sponsors in the conference program. Actually stating they are doing it for free. So make it transparent that your speakers are working for free! If they are.

If you want help or get free support or advice, try giving something back.
Just DON`T appeal to sister solidarity or quote Mrs. Albright. That is a kind of sister loyalty misunderstood – it’s pure exploitation of other people’s time and competence!

- “There is a special place in hell for women who are exploiting other women’s work and dedication – by expecting services for free” Benja Stig Fagerland

So thank you people for thinking I Rock – but you can’t get me to do things for free (anymore).

ROCK ON!
WOMENOMICS-feminist DJ, Benja Stig Fagerland
www.TalentTuning.com